in need of constant vigilance.

3/4/2010

When the Moon gets to 0 degrees of Scorpio, Death, you visualize your
death: that which led up to it, your deathbed, the pain and misery of
dying. You visualize your funeral and all the guests, how they speak
of you and how they feel about you. Then they are gone, it's over,
and your body undergoes its decomposition. Your grave, at first well
attended by your friends and relatives, now lies neglected, covered
with dead leaves, and forgotten.



9 degrees Scorpio (moon)

Learned some valuable lessons so far today - it's 10:45 AM and I got to go home due to a massive student-led strike.  Anger and rage, solidarity and chants surrounded the campus and there really was an ominous feeling to the streets as I drove up.  Police turned me away, and JT told me to just head back home.

After writing some work emails, I felt a bit more privileged in being able to stay home today.  I had to admit a serious billing error to a resident and JT, and have to take the consequences.  I admitted it, and now we need to move on but it was still hard as I've made mistakes like that in the past year, several of them.  How I got to be in charge of billing for a major University office is beyond me, but there you go.  It is a very good job, and I am VERY grateful to have it.  But I need to find new avenues in other ways to help my spirit and state of goodwill.  So I've been committing myself lately as much as I can and it has helped the morale but is still in need of constant vigilance.

Dreams last night included a drive (me driving) with someone who seemed to be Maya.  We drove by houses that I recognized/had lived in.  A chateau in Burgundy (very very briefly as a nanny), an old rickety Victorian (I think it was the one off Taraval), another house I don't recognize - it looked pueblo-ish and I think it might have been representing the house on Quimby road (stucco, and my Father did handmade adobe blocks for the patio area).

Drove in to work thinking of sending $5.00 to KAZU as part of my consciousness and awareness 'training', telling them how I appreciate what they do and want to do my part.

It's sunny and I am SO grateful for life.