Lunar 418 Directions and Notes.

It begins when the Moon is at 15 degrees of Libra, Judgement. You
take a good hard look at yourself and judge yourself mercilessly; who
you are, what you are, and what you are doing, and you find yourself
wanting.   




(See notes from dream and discussion about S, to start).  At 25 degrees Libra, I find my mind restless.  Sitting at work with many projects spread around me I am still thinking of how I would like to transform my life (to the next level).  Full out, no holds barred dream:  To be a self-supporting artist and writer.  To make a good living at it so that I don't have to split my life down the middle to make sure there is food on the table and a roof over our heads.  I have no end of drive, I know what I can do when I apply myself, it's been proven many times over.   There are strings attaching me now, it's a new lesson, and while some of the strings have snapped there are others that must be reckoned with .  I'm not getting younger, I embrace my life and who I am and know that change is coming.  It always is.  I'm ready to see the Stanford Doctor to get the next ideas for treatment (not viewing him as a God, but more of a divine counselor), to release the sludge from my body that all these medicines and months of depression over them have built up.  I take responsibility for the depressions I experienced, the passivity I allowed myself to undergo leading up to last spring (2009), when it finally (DUH) dawned on me that the 'miracle drug' I was on was not so miraculous after all.  I knew that to be true but denied reality in.  I just kept going to get the treatments every month.  But I stopped the behavior and took control of treatment.  I am ready to move forward, arms outstretched in joy to embrace life.


What is it that stops me, hinders me from completing projects and tasks that are so important to me?  Self-denial, doubt, insecurity. 

What is it that stopped my joy in religious spiritual endeavors, studies and ritual?  Fear of overpowering others with my enthusiasm, fear of not making any sense, fear of 'going along' with things and not seeing 'me' in the picture. 


I take responsibility for myself and all whom I care for, to be mindful and joyful.  ONWARD.




When the Moon gets to 0 degrees of Scorpio, Death, you visualize your
death: that which led up to it, your deathbed, the pain and misery of
dying. You visualize your funeral and all the guests, how they speak
of you and how they feel about you. Then they are gone, it's over,
and your body undergoes its decomposition. Your grave, at first well
attended by your friends and relatives, now lies neglected, covered
with dead leaves, and forgotten.

When the Moon goes from 15 degrees to 16 degrees of Scorpio you watch
your mind. The Sagittarius phase is the mysterious three days on the
way to Moon in Capricorn: observe the changes that have occurred to
you and who you are.

During the whole period you must keep a Diary.

This is an exercise that must be performed by every member of the
Second Order. You may think that you do not need to do this exercise
because you think you know what the results will be, but you most
assuredly do not, and it never works the same way twice.

All that lives is in LIBRA=58=ORDEALS. 58 is the fuel that sustains
Life grounded in this world, it is what anchors Life to this world.
Every heartbeat is an Ordeal. This is why life in England is an
Ordeal: England's astrological ruler is Aries (ARIES=66=HEART and
EARTH), and so it is opposed by Libra. That is why the poor benighted
English are so creative, and that is also why we adore the cult of
the Hero. The Hero is the essence of Life itself.